Apologies to Jed

When I went to college, I had a kid in my class named Jed. He was extremely annoying--prone to outbursts, using inappropriate language. The whole class was female, and it was the sort of situation (creative writing course) where you got to know people on a fairly intimate level.

Jed said at one point that he had ADHD, and my classmates and I (privately) kind of scoffed at this--thinking that the disease was made up, and what did that have to do with him being a "jerk" anyhow?

The joke is on me, right? Now I know exactly what his behavior had to do with ADHD! And, being a hyper functional person, I had no idea that he was surely making his parents incredibly proud just being enrolled at NYU, and showing up to class on time with his homework done.

In retrospect, I feel awful for judging Jed the way I did. I wish I had given him a chance. The reaction I had to him is exactly what I dread happening to my wonderful boy...will people be able to get past his shortcomings and enjoy the wonderful caring person inside.

I'm vaguely terrified of the future...will my son be able to hold down a job? Will he be capable of following a budget so he can have personal financial success? Will he learn to control his impulses and have a successful life?

Part of my terror stems from the fact that his dad, who lived life untreated, had such a negative experience. His education was stunted b/c of his behavioral problems, his work history has been pretty rocky (it's hard to be functional in the workplace when you can't find anything, and you're always 2 hours late...). Both father and son are extremely smart, kind and creative, but this lack of organizational ability is just deadly in modern society.

We'd be an interesting case study, though, because dad is certainly a control subject. Once Squirrel is an adult, we'll have a pretty clear picture of what medical/behavioral intervention can accomplish. My hope? That it accomplishes LOTS, and my son is able to do well in school, have a job he loves, a family, friends, and be organized enough to have a life that is relatively free of chaos...

That's not too much, right?

Summer Vacation

So, my little Squirrel is spending the entire month of July with my very brave, very energetic parents. They live on 200 acres in Vermont, which sounds quite luxurious, but most of it is either swamp (that's "wetlands" to you crunchy types) or very hilly forest. At any rate, plenty of space for a hyperactive kid to run around.

My mother says that he is wonderful, except...he never shuts up! Of course, she phrased it a bit more gently than that...but I think any mom of a hyperactive type ADHD kid can relate.

I will be setting up his Dr's appointments over the next few days--his school enrollment next year is contingent upon his behavior. They put in the contract that they can toss him after three months if they aren't seeing improvement. I need to ask them if I can put just 1/3 of his tuition up front...

HBO On Demand has a little documentary on kids with Tourrette's Syndrome right now. I recommend it to any ADHD parents...although the symptoms are different, I think the kids face the same sort of issues at school. And the kids on that documentary are amazing!

OK. Just a quick check in for July...the real drama happens during the school year.