I worry about my son

Of course, all parents worry about their children. No matter what we do, there are things that can go horribly wrong in their lives.

I just know for a fact that Squirrel's dad...who shares his diagnosis and temperment...is a profoundly unhappy and unfulfilled person. Careerwise, he has bounced from place to place...he never learned good work habits, good sleep habits, or even how to love, really.

This isn't to say that he doesn't have a lot of really wonderful qualities. But, I do believe that some level of appropriate intervention in his life would have made the difference between ability to be happy, and what I see as his greatest disability. He favors the simple fix and the easy answer over fighting the harder battle, which has (of course) the greater rewards.

Perhaps these things don't make sense as I am speaking in generalities...I just think that people with ADHD feel such a compulsion to quickly satisfy their desires that they can't take a long-term view. Like, the desires to have fun, to feel physical pleasure or to be complimented would take precedence over honoring a commitment.

How do you get a person to understand that making the longer-term choice will eventually be more satisfying? An example: if you don't buy the Starbuck's every day and put the $5 in the bank...at the end of the year you will have $1,825 in the bank. Now...my frugal Presbyterian upbringing drilled this concept deep into my mitochondria. Discretionary spending is practically painful for me. I'm all about patching, pasting, saving, sewing and reusing things.

I fear that I will not be able to get my son to understand these things at all. And without that understanding, it is pretty impossible to have a good career, a good relationship, and the prospect of retiring (among other things).

It seems to me that so many parents perseverate on concepts like IQ and raw ability. Genius isn't the answer. I know many people who could shave off a dozen IQ points, replace that with a little practicality and be much happier in life. I'm not saying that intelligence is a bad thing...I think it is a fantastic gift. It's just that intelligence is worthless if it doesn't come with the ability to make good choices.

Of course, these ruminations follow an extremely rough morning in my house.