Epilogue, perhaps
I was summoned back to this blog when I received a notification asking if I wanted to keep it active and continue to moderate comments.
It has been 11 years since I posted, and Squirrel is now an adult (of sorts, as much as an 18 year-old can be). He went through a sea change at 13. His behavior in class became a complete non-issue. His meds were working, and we were able to settle into a routine. While not the most diligent student, he was a very good student, maintaining about a 90 average throughout high school.
He wound up becoming interested in physics, and through that computer science. He's at a decent school that focuses on computers and tech, and is just in heaven. He's surrounded by people with similar interests (gaming, fixing computers). He has a campus job a few hours a week.
Despite these successes, Squirrel never really caught up in math. Because of his constant behavioral issues, he was on a "regular" track with math. He took Algebra in 9th grade, Geometry in 10th, etc. While this is fine, it's obviously not ideal for someone going into a STEM field. I somewhat regret not figuring out a way to push him forward a bit in math. That said, I feel like he can figure it out from here.
My point in posting this is that there can be successes. We may sometimes have to redefine our image of what success looks like. I went through periods of concern that my son would never have good relationships, or be capable of living independently. I realized, through those concerns, that having perfect academics, or achievements in sports or arts just weren't things I could worry about. I needed to focus on these core issues, and ensure that he would be able to have a sense of ownership over an independent life, and be able to share that life with others.
I feel like he's on his way, and life feels good.
posted by Squirrelsmama @ 4:06 AM
2 comments
2 Comments:
Squirrelsmama,
Hi, I first wanted to take a second to introduce myself. I'm currently a friend of Squirrel's at age 20. While his schooling path and living situation has changed, it is wonderful to see firsthand how he has been shaped by your guidance and help. While traditional education might not be for him right now, he was capable of making a decision that worked for him and was guided based around the future impact. He is truly becoming comfortable with where he is in life and how he has grown and he us learning to become proud of himself for all the things he has done and learned. Squirrel shared this blog with me so I could understand his past when sharing stories and talking. I have always heard tales of his past but to read your experience was very insightful. I am the same age as Squirrel but very different. I am very much a so-called A-type personality with diagnosed OCD and anxiety. My struggles are very different from his, but it was very nice to find someone who understands in a way. I wasn't diagnosed until age 19. While OCD and anxiety haven't drastically hurt my social and learning abilities, I can look back and understand why I have struggled with little things in the past. More than anything, I want to stress how wonderful a person Squirrel is. You did a fantastic and educated job guiding the uncertain waters of a first child being diagnosed with ADHD. I am completely certain that he will succeed and be guided by his caring nature he certainly learned from you. Take care of yourself.
Hey everyone (or noone) I guess I'm squirrel. I'm 20 years old now, my mom showed me this blog the other day. I cried almost the entire way through. I gained so much perspective on how much I've grown and how far I've come. My mother is absolutely responsible for every success in my life. No matter how hard I worked I wouldnt be 1% the man I am today without her. I am no longer in college for computer science but I have a job and an apartment. I'm as lost in life as any 20 year old but I feel I'm on my way somewhere. I cant tell you where I'll be in 5 years but I can say that just being a functional adult is so much more than most people ever expected of me and I am very proud of myself for that. I just wish I could go back to the 35 year old version of my mom drowning in bills and insurance plans and just give her a hug. Let her know that shes gonna figure it out and be proud of me one day. We did it mom, we made it through.
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